EP 101: Christian Women in Business: Does God Actually Like You—or Just Love You Because He Has To?
Have You Ever Imagined God Sighing at You?
Prefer to watch? Here’s the full episode.
Have you ever pictured God looking at your life with a kind of divine sigh—patiently tolerating your shortcomings while waiting for you to finally get it together?
Maybe you believe God loves you (because Scripture says He does)… but deep down you wonder if He actually likes you.
If that’s you, you’re not alone. I’ve been working through this too—biblically, psychologically, and personally. And here’s the truth I’m learning to hold onto:
God doesn’t just love you because He has to. He likes you because He wants to.
That’s a big statement. So let’s walk it out carefully—because this isn’t about wishful thinking. It’s about what Scripture actually says, and why so many of us struggle to believe it.
Why So Many High-Capacity Women Assume God Is More Corrective Than Relational
This belief doesn’t come out of nowhere. For a lot of women (especially high-capacity, high-achieving women), it’s formed through years of patterns—spiritual, emotional, and relational.
Here are three reasons I think this “God tolerates me” narrative sticks so hard.
1) We were taught to imagine God as primarily corrective
If you grew up in a tradition where God was emphasized as judge, evaluator, and corrector, you may subconsciously relate to Him like He’s watching your performance—scoring your spiritual report card.
But Psalm 18:19 says something completely different: “He rescued me because He delighted in me.”
Delight—not disappointment—is God’s motive.
And yet for many of us, verses like that feel like they bounce off the surface. Not because they aren’t true… but because our nervous systems learned a different story a long time ago.
2) We project our attachment patterns onto God
We tend to relate to God the same way we learned to relate to our caregivers.
If warmth felt inconsistent, affection felt scarce, or connection felt earned, you may default to a more formal “prove yourself” relationship with God—one where you keep it together, stay composed, and try not to be “too much.”
That “easy one” strategy? It works in childhood. But it can quietly form a faith life built on emotional distance.
And then it shows up as:
“If I do it right, God will be pleased.”
“If I don’t need much, God won’t be annoyed.”
“If I hold it together, I’ll stay safe.”
3) Christian women often carry heavy spiritual pressure
So many women feel responsible for getting faith right—staying consistent, staying grateful, staying disciplined, staying humble, staying in their Bible, staying in prayer.
And if you constantly feel spiritually behind, then the idea that God enjoys you can almost feel… wrong.
Because if you’re doing it wrong, how could He delight in you?
But that’s exactly the belief Scripture confronts.
What Scripture Actually Says About God’s Delight
Let’s anchor this where it belongs: not in feelings or assumptions, but in the nature of God revealed in the Bible.
God rejoices over you emotionally
Zephaniah 3:17 paints a picture that is wildly tender: God rejoices over you with gladness and quiets you with His love.
That is not tolerance. That is affection.
God takes pleasure in His people
Psalm 147:11 says the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear Him.
Pleasure is not passive acceptance. Pleasure is enjoyment.
Jesus calls you friend—not burden, not project
John 15:15: “I have called you friends.”
Friends are people you like. People you want close.
The Father runs toward the prodigal
In Luke 15, the father doesn’t wait with crossed arms. He doesn’t lecture first. He runs. He embraces. He kisses.
That’s Jesus describing what God is like.
Jesus delights in children—and invites you to come the same way
Mark 10:13–16 shows Jesus welcoming the chaos of children. Kids don’t approach reverently and neatly. They’re loud. Interrupting. Climbing. Needy.
And Jesus says: come like that.
If you’ve always believed holiness equals seriousness, this may stretch you—in the best way. Scripture shows a Jesus who attends feasts, tells stories, enjoys people, and welcomes closeness.
The Hidden Core Belief Beneath “God Doesn’t Like Me”
Here’s the painful honesty I’ve had to face:
I was rewarded for being responsible—not for being needy.
So when I imagine God, I can default to:
high expectations
constant evaluation
correction more than connection
appreciation for my strength, but not enjoyment of my humanity
But we are finite. We have limits. And God created us that way.
Which leads to a reframing that has stopped me in my tracks:
Instead of asking forgiveness for my humanity—
What if I need to ask forgiveness for thinking I’m more than human?
Because a lot of us aren’t repenting of weakness. We’re repenting of limits.
And limits are not a design flaw. They’re a gift that keeps us close to God.
Love Is Commitment. Liking Is Enjoyment. God Gives You Both.
This has been a major shift for me:
Love is commitment.
Liking is enjoyment.
And God doesn’t offer you one without the other.
So ask yourself:
What would change if you truly believed God enjoys you?
For me, I wrote down a few things that would start to break:
I’d stop shrinking to stay palatable.
I’d stop performing for approval.
I’d stop reading the room constantly.
I’d show up bolder.
I’d rest without guilt.
I’d lead with more freedom.
And Romans 8:1 becomes not just a verse you know, but a reality you live: there is no condemnation in Christ—yet so many of us live like we’re in an endless spiritual performance review.
Practical Ways to Experience God’s Delight (Not Just Understand It)
If your brain says “yes” but your body says “no,” you’re not broken. You’re human. And sometimes you need practices that help your heart catch up to truth.
Here are a few that have helped me:
1) Do a “Delight Inventory”
Write down five things about yourself that reflect God’s intentional design.
Not “personality traits.” Fingerprints.
Examples (mine looked like this): honesty, excellence, creativity, leadership, compassion.
2) Pray a friendship prayer
Not formal. Not polished.
“Jesus… what do You enjoy about me?”
Then sit long enough for something to rise. (This takes practice. But it’s powerful.)
3) Meditate on a short set of scriptures
Start here:
Psalm 18:19
Zephaniah 3:17
John 15:15
Mark 10:13–16
Don’t rush. Read slowly. Let your imagination be retrained.
If This Feels Hard to Believe, You’re Not Alone
If this reframes something for you—if it opens a door toward intimacy with God—don’t rush past it.
This kind of work can stir up chaos in your soul. It might even feel “off” at first if you were formed in a more serious, performance-based spiritual environment.
But I’m not stepping away from faith.
I’m stepping deeper into it.
God does not just tolerate you. He delights in you. He rejoices over you. He likes you. And He calls you friend.
Don’t waste the chaos.
If you want to keep walking through identity, leadership, and spiritual confidence with me:
And share this post with a friend who loves God—but secretly believes He barely tolerates her.
