Episode 84: From Spotlight to Substance
Episode Description:
Denise Tallcott spent years in the spotlight as a successful radio host - until life shifted, and so did her definition of success. Now, she’s a speaker, business coach, and host of Working Moms Redefined, helping women stop people-pleasing, start leading with purpose, and show up boldly in their lives and work. In this episode, we talk about the hard-won wisdom behind her platform: how she reclaimed her voice, embraced motherhood without losing herself, and reframed chaos as the proof of a full life.
Tune into hear:
You can love the spotlight without needing it. Denise shared how her early radio career gave her a sense of validation — until life shifted and her purpose did too. Now, her focus is on helping others find their voice, not just being heard herself. It’s a powerful reminder that being seen isn’t the same as being centered.
People-pleasing is just another form of chaos. Denise opened up about the exhausting cycle of trying to be everything for everyone. Her journey toward authenticity shows how breaking up with people-pleasing is essential to showing up with confidence and clarity.
Public speaking isn’t about you - it’s about service. Whether it’s a crowd of 10 or 1,000, Denise reframes nerves as excitement and reminds us that the best speakers don’t perform they connect. Her story is proof that the message matters more than the microphone.
Gratitude grounds you when anxiety creeps in. Instead of spiraling in stressful moments, Denise reaches for a thank-you note. It’s simple but powerful: gratitude and anxiety can’t coexist. That one practice can reframe your whole day.
Chaos isn’t the enemy - it’s the evidence. Rather than trying to “balance it all,” Denise has learned to embrace the fullness of life - the mess, the meaning, the movement. Chaos isn’t failure. It’s often the sign that we’re living fully, growing honestly, and walking in purpose.
Mentioned in this Episode:
Working Moms Redefined Podcast Listen on Spotify, Apple, or your favorite platform: https://www.workingmomsredefined.com/...
Denise Tallcott Leadership & Speaking For speaking inquiries, coaching, and more: https://www.denisetallcott.com
Nine Minutes of Connection Masterclass A tool to help working moms connect meaningfully with their kids in just 9 minutes a day: https://www.workingmomsredefined.com/...
Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown Referenced for emotional literacy and reframing nerves: https://brenebrown.com/book/atlas-of-...
Maxwell Leadership Certification Program where Denise trained as a speaker/coach: https://www.maxwellleadership.com/
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Full Transcript
Kerri Roberts (00:00)
Welcome back to Don't Waste the Chaos, the podcast that helps turn your hardest moments into your greatest momentum. Today's episode is for the working moms, the multi-passionate women, and anyone who's ever wondered if their voice still matters after life takes a turn. My guest is Denise Talkeid, former radio host turned podcast creator, public speaker, coach, and the warmhearted force behind Working Moms Redefined.
Denise is no stranger to the spotlight, but her real magic, it's how she uses that spotlight to help other women step into their own. We talk about showing up authentically, even when it's hard, building a platform from scratch, how to stay grounded when you're juggling all the things and how faith and vulnerability build real community, not just followers. This episode feels like sitting on the front porch with a wise and hilarious friend who's willing to tell you the truth and cheer you on. You're going to laugh, reflect.
and walk away with real takeaways for your own voice, business, or calling. So let's dive into the conversation you maybe didn't know you needed, Denise, welcome to the pod.
Denise Tallcott (01:01)
This sounds so fun. I want to hang out with us. I'm excited to be with us today. This is going to be great.
Kerri Roberts (01:05)
Yeah,
I would want to hang out with us too, honestly. I've had the opportunity to spend some time with you before and I've really been looking forward to this. So let's go ahead and jump in and give the listeners what they're here for. So talk to us about Working Moms, Redefined Podcast. And what made you feel like, I know we've got some folks listening today and they're like, I could never, or, you know, how did you know? So what made you feel like your voice needed a platform? How'd you know it was time?
Denise Tallcott (01:31)
think you kind of alluded to it a little bit in the very beginning. I've always wanted to be a voice that is heard. And selfishly, in the beginning of my life, it was because I, hi, my name is Denise, I wanna be known. And that is something that shifted. We'll talk more later about how that came about, but now it's not even about me. And I know that you are very similar in this, Keri.
How can I help a person and hear what God wants them to hear? And my message is not about me, it's all about what, I'm just the person in the middle. And that's not to negate me, but I do believe that there is a beauty and a way to help specifically working moms feel good enough. I left a career in radio after 10 years and started an advertising company.
We get to still to this day work with 60 plus clients across the nation to help with their online brand and their social media advertising. And it's so enjoyable. And yet there was a little piece of the on air or the microphone, if you will, that I was missing. It was that public speaking and not for the spotlight to be on me by any means. But there is an art about being able to take a thought and critically think in live time.
to be able to then share that love with everybody else. And so that piece is what I was missing. And so at that point in time, after we had successfully started an advertising business that now, 2021, we have five employees, what a gift, what a gift to then be able to serve people in a different way. I was then able to get Maxwell Leadership certified and I thought I wanted to travel and speak across the nation. And then reality of course set in and it was like, I have two little ones.
who are now eight and six. I don't want to leave them that much. We'll put that on the back burner for later. And instead I found a love for business coaching and the ability to ask questions, to help people feel and see and think through their capacity is amazing. And I know so many of us listeners out there realize that in order for us to best be able to show up at work, we want and have to feel like we are showing up best in home. And that
is always a factor and it kept coming to the forefront of so many coaching conversations. And honestly for me myself too, when we think, my goodness, I missed a basketball game or I wasn't able to get out of this meeting in time to be able to get to school pickup. We start to put that pressure on ourselves and it's not healthy. And so how do we manage how we look at, let's play into this, the chaos that is in our day-to-day life. And so,
After a conference this past December, I realized that, one way to use my God-given talent of being able to critically think with my voice to pour into other women is through Working Moms Redefined. And through a meditation, funnily enough, within this conference, it came through, hey, you're not the mom that your mom was, and that's okay. So giving power to really learn about things that me, myself, and you love to learn about.
We got to have Curie on the podcast and we learned so much about her passion and her drive to help others and how you can do hard things and move past them. Living out on a farm where she came from the West Coast, how cool is that? You can do hard things and empowering women to do that is the ultimate goal.
Kerri Roberts (05:04)
And I love, I mean, you're a very humble person and I think people get, especially with women, they get conflicted between someone who is powerful or strong or confident in their voice with humility. I think you can 100 % be a humble, God-focused woman and also feel very confident. And actually, I feel like that's the goal, right? If we've got the Holy Spirit inside of us, like how could we not be confident? But I love that you said this is a God-given talent because
If we really lean into that and can really feel strength in that, then how could we not? How can we not use it? Of course you needed a podcast. Like that makes perfect sense. That's a medium where we can reach people. There's plenty of other people reaching individuals out there with a lot worse content ⁓ or negative or, you know, things that could negatively impact our brains. And so I love that you're using that. It's just such a beautiful, a beautiful platform. So how'd you get your podcast up and going? And how did you start to build your following?
Denise Tallcott (06:05)
I appreciate the kindness about the humility comment that this dovetails nicely into how did we start a podcast because I know what it was like to not be humble. I remember the feeling I used to have when I had my own morning show on 100,000 watt radio station and it was so cool. It was like Bow and Denise in the mornings and we had intros and I was like.
This is so cool and people would know me, I would go out and they would know me and that would give me such a high. Now, my therapist would tell you that comes from a deep seated root of achievement and worth and all of those things. But again, we're all works in progress. And so I would say that this podcast got up and going because I finally said, yes, I think we make excuses for ourselves because that's easy. And...
I say this with such love and kindness, it is easy to not do a podcast. My fear behind not doing one for so long was I was afraid I was going to shift into that mindset of like, look at me, look what I can do, so on and so forth. And yet, giving myself permission to realize I'm not that person anymore, say yes. Plus I have an amazing business partner in the background who says, Denise, go, just go.
And so it's nice to have people in your corner, much like yourself, Kerri, to know, hey, you can do this. We've got you. And realizing that it might not look like you think it does today in two years, and that's okay. Consistency. When you ask the question, how do you build your following?
First of all, it's so beautiful. It is so beautiful in an age where you can connect across the country with people and be able to have a sense of community when you don't see them when you go to the grocery store. To be able to have those types of connections is so neat. And yet you need and should want to show up for that, for those people. You do it, hopefully, at home.
and your own community. And yet if we look at our social media or our community or our outward reflection of ourselves as that, why wouldn't you want to grow your following to show up? Because it's not about you. It's all about the other person. And I look at when I think about how can I authentically show up today for this other person, ultimately it's putting them up a mirror in front of yourself and thinking, what do I need today that maybe somebody else needs to hear as well? And we do so with a humble heart.
Kerri Roberts (08:37)
Gosh, that's so true. I just posted ⁓ what might've looked like a level of sass today on my social media. And it was just about like, hey, August is the time where we can like put the brakes on and say like, our kids aren't back in school yet. So we're still, you know, in that messy middle, or we can like put our foot down on the gas pedal and say, this is what I'm going to do to make sure I finish the year strong. And I put that out there and I immediately had a couple of women that were like, ⁓ I needed this today. And my response back was like, same.
Same, I was thinking about it. I was thinking about what I traveled. I was thinking about the pep talk that I needed. And you you could look at someone like us and say, ⁓ she thinks she knows everything or whatever, or you could realize that we're just using our platforms to motivate and inspire the same way that other people do for us.
Denise Tallcott (09:25)
love to keep in mind my sassiness and classiness levels. And I tell my eight year old that too. It's like, okay, so are we a little sassy today? That doesn't, that's not negative. That's not a bad thing. It's where are we feeling out on that classiness versus sassiness? And I do it for myself too. And I love it because I wear heels all of the time. That helps both my classiness and my sassiness levels. But man, when I'm wearing red, watch out. Like, know, stuff is getting done.
Kerri Roberts (09:29)
The quotient. ⁓
Denise Tallcott (09:56)
It's things that we can convince ourselves to do in moments where it would be easy to know.
Kerri Roberts (10:04)
Yeah, it's so true. I think I saw a meme one time that said like classy, sassy, and a little smart assy. And I was like, ⁓ I mean, depending on the day, depending on the day. Yes, so you talk a lot about authenticity and the way you show up online and how it feels true to who you are, even when it feels vulnerable. How do you stay true to yourself and confident and humble? How do you balance all of that?
Denise Tallcott (10:17)
Right.
That's the million dollar question and it is not lost on me the pleasure that it is when I get asked that question so often. One, because sometimes we doubt ourselves. I want all of us in this room listening to know that there are times where the devil sneaks in and we doubt ourselves sometimes too. So do not think that we are above that. And yet when someone compliments
whether it's my authenticity or my boldness or my ability to help people feel really great about themselves, it comes one as a recovering people pleaser because I used to be the person that said or shifted to do whatever I thought needed to happen to fit in. When I realized at this radio station, and I'll use a quick example because it just says the power of, hey,
People are going to like you and they are not going to like you. And ultimately, how you show up is going to affect one or the other. So why not show up as you? And I learned the hard way. When I was first hired on right out of college at the radio station, we were the afternoon show. Well, we were not a rated market and the morning show, we shifted. So they got demoted, if you will, to the afternoon and we got promoted. Well, people...
don't love routine getting changed. I am also one of those people. And so when they're the voices that they woke up to, because remember this was 15 years ago, radio was still so prevalent and people knew that, hey, if it's 740, I better be in my car. If it's 752 and I'm hearing the weather from Denise, I'm gonna be late. I mean, people would mark their days by that. When you shift and you get a different perspective or a different voice, people get mad, oh my gosh, to the point where there was a, hate Bo and Denise.
Facebook group created at this time. And of course I was 23 and I read every darn comment because why wouldn't we at that age? We are defined by so many other people's perspectives. And so when I thought about it in that moment of, this, mean, give me a few weeks. It did not take that in the moment, but like you think about it in the sense of there are people who are still listening and there are people who are not.
Kerri Roberts (12:27)
⁓ crap.
Yeah.
Denise Tallcott (12:55)
And so why not show up as who I am unapologetically? I like nice things. I think I'm funny, but not everybody else does. I like sharing struggles and wins because connection happens in both of those. And if you don't like me, hey, you can flip the dial or in this case, you can pick a different podcast, but I am not your decision maker. And when I gave myself permission to believe that,
The people pleasing went away and authenticity shone.
Kerri Roberts (13:28)
That's so beautiful and what an amazing example of, know, a lot of us aren't in public seats and so that's a really painful example but a great lesson learned and really inspiring and really thinking about how many of us want to like say the thing and we've got the things to say. It's not just like you and I are the only type of people who have things to say. Like everybody's got their thing, their hot take, their whatever it is.
and being willing to say it and be magnetic, whether that means pulling people in or detracting people, whatever that is. Freaking glad you did it. I'm glad that you did it. I'm glad you did it. It inspired other people, I have no doubt. So outside of the podcast, it sounds like you also do a pretty good clip of public speaking. And I know there's people who would love to get into that, but don't know.
Denise Tallcott (14:04)
Hey, thanks.
Yeah.
Kerri Roberts (14:20)
how to begin, what first move they should take. So talk to us about how you got into that in the first place.
Denise Tallcott (14:27)
Public speaking is my jam. I have loved it ever since I was I 15 16 I knew I wanted to be a TV anchor since I was in high school and I have the hair still you know there I've had to tone down yeah if you're watching on Carrie's YouTube channel you can tell that I have the anchor hair but there's not a lot of money to be made there nonetheless public speaking has been something that I've always wanted to do and so I remember volunteering
Kerri Roberts (14:40)
Got great hair.
Denise Tallcott (14:55)
for our high school graduation speech. I did pageants. Now don't knock. I always like to joke. I was always first loser and always miss congeniality. And I will take that over the other as long as it's still paid for school. But I loved those feelings. Now some people feel that those feelings of, you know, I label them as excitement. my.
Kerri Roberts (15:08)
Okay.
Denise Tallcott (15:19)
goodness, I get to create a message and tell, of course, at that time it was different. was like, my gosh, I get to be on stage and everybody gets to look at me. And now it's totally of, how can I help them hear what they need to hear to help them change their lives? And.
you can choose to label a feeling how you see fit. Brene Brown has a great book, Atlas of the Heart, that describes all of these feelings. And so this is not right. So Brene Brown, if you want to take her as an expert, absolutely. I am one that just changes in my mind that this is not nerves. When I'm standing behind the stage and I am getting a little sweaty and I'm getting a little excitement and I'm losing my breath a little bit, I could label that as nervousness. And instead I'm going to choose that
to be, I am excited. This is something new and different, or in my case now after speaking on hundreds, this is fun. I like that thrill. And so I'm chasing the thrill. Whether it's speaking in front of 100, 1000, or 10 people, everyone deserves to be able to feel my excitement. And so if you are thinking, yes, that excites me, great. 75 % of people actually fear public speaking more than death.
First of all, that tells me that people's lives are not that entertaining. Come hang out with us. I'll make it so that is not the case. But to think that 75 % of people would rather die and go crawl in a corner than speak tells me there's a need. And all of our businesses have been centered around fixing or helping a need for people. So I actually, I speak or I teach a public speaking course. And what it comes down to is realizing that it's not about you and that you can do hard things and building that belief in yourself. So,
Kerri Roberts (16:40)
You
Denise Tallcott (17:06)
To go back to your original question, Carrie, what can someone do? Believe that you can do hard things. Believe that you can overcome those feelings that you might previously have labeled as nervousness and label them as excitement. So for me, I knew that I wanted to have some sort of credibility. I did not think that a decade in radio was enough, so that's where I went and got that Maxwell Leadership Certification. I wanted to be able to know how to do it the right way. Type A.
Enneagram 3, human design projector, all in one. I needed the credibility type of thing, right? And then I asked. I put together an email and I sent it out to some people who knew me. I think it's very important to utilize who you know as long as you give back to them. I make it a point that whenever somebody, whenever I get the pleasure to meet somebody or propose something, I like to write a thank you note. I Carrie, I sent you one after being on our.
It is something that just stands out because you matter. How can we make people feel the way you want them to feel once they leave? And that's what you center your public speaking around. Once you ask, you have to sell yourself. And I humbly do so in a way because I want you to know, this is just as much fun for me as it is for you putting on this event. And so when I first asked, one person replied back and was like, yeah, great. Can you send me over your media kit? And I thought,
I I better put a media kit together. You know? And I think sometimes people get pushed back or make excuses or don't take the next step because they think they have to have everything together before they say yes. I made a media kit, I'll never forget, in Quincy, Illinois at a Starbucks and it took me two hours. And they had a media kit back to their request in two hours. I still use parts of that media kit to this day.
but I didn't have it ready to go because I didn't know that I was gonna need it until they asked for it. So put yourself out there and if this is something that you wanna do, ask. You might have to do it for free in the beginning. I've been doing this for three years now. I absolutely do nothing for free in the public space anymore, public speaking space anymore because your words have power, your words have value. Even if it's a trade or even if it's a nonprofit, you give value. But in the beginning,
You gotta humble yourself and say, know what? This is just as much for me as it is for them and in an experience standpoint. And you will see people say yes, you will.
Kerri Roberts (19:39)
So good and I love ⁓ I've never heard anyone say I do it for the thrill that ⁓ that just reminds me my son came back from a ⁓ Week trip at Windy Gap, North Carolina and he said I've got to find a high dive bag bigger because this is my third year at this camp and it's just not giving me the Adrenaline that I was looking for and I was like that's terrifying as your mother but I get like we all need those like exhilarating
whether it's a milestone or whether it's a tight deadline or you you have to figure out like what the thing is that gets you pumping and then chase after it like unapologetically ⁓ i've never heard anyone say they do the public speaking for the thrill before but it is thrilling it 100 is and by the way i was a pageant girl too not necessarily because i wanted to be but my mom was really i'm i was an athlete i ended up playing basketball in college but when i was a kid my mom was
Denise Tallcott (20:12)
See you.
It is.
Kerri Roberts (20:35)
just beautiful, still beautiful in her seventies, but she was, you know, a cheerleader and the captain of the cheerleading squad and the homecoming queen and all of that. And so she just assumed I would go down that path. And I did. I ended up going to Miss Missouri and didn't win either. I've also gotten some Miss Congeniality ⁓ trophies though. But I think that again was a challenge. It was a challenge for me. And it's why I call myself Carrie Roberts instead of Carrie Roberts.
Denise Tallcott (20:37)
you
Kerri Roberts (21:03)
because my maiden name is Ross, and so it sounded like rah rah in a microphone. You know, just stuff that like you wouldn't know otherwise, but if you have to put your mouth on a microphone, you learn some things about articulation and how to get people's attention, how to hold people's attention. And so I love that you shared that path because we're just, we're all just some normal folks with a story of how we got to where we're going. It's just, some of us say, I'm gonna push, I'm gonna challenge, I'm gonna try.
Denise Tallcott (21:07)
Ha
Kerri Roberts (21:31)
It's really inspiring, I love that. with everything that you're juggling, podcasting, coaching, public speaking, motherhood, how do you keep your ideas and presence fresh?
Denise Tallcott (21:44)
hard. And I think that sometimes us high achievers want to try and make it look easy. Because if it looks easy, then it means that we did it right. At least that's sometimes how I view myself. And it's not the case, but I'm also not going to be the person that says, hey, look at what all I'm doing. And this is hard. I mean, it's spaces like this where we can be raw and vulnerable and share that it is tough. And I am the first person to say I am not who I am.
if it's not for my husband, if it's not for my team, if it's not for my family and my kids. They have allowed and adjusted their life, I think as much as I have, if not more, to be able to make, quote, juggling possible. I grew up on a farm and my mom was a stay at home mom. My dad...
was the farmer that you, know, even on Christmas morning, those cows have to be fed. You waited until dad got done doing chores before you ran and opened those gifts. So I saw so many wonderful things modeled from both of my parents. And yet that's not the life that I am living. It's hard for me from time to time to not be able to make or bake the cookies that are needed for the bake sale at school the next day. Boughten cookies to a six-year-old taste the same.
Kerri Roberts (23:07)
Ha ha!
Denise Tallcott (23:07)
And I
have to tell myself that from time to time because my mom always did. She was the hand ice decorating cookies and people still to this day will remember that. And it's okay that your husband is able to go pick the kids up from practice and you are then waiting for them at home, you know? But it took some convincing in the beginning. I really had to coach myself to say, hey, I'm not the mom that my mom was and that's okay.
and building that belief in yourself because I'm a better mom when I get the thrill of public speaking. I'm a better mom when I am able to help people feel really great. I'm a better wife when I get to go to a client meeting and help them put together a marketing proposal for the next year. I'm better when I get to do the things that I love, but that does not mean that I love those other things less. And much like we have had a very honest and transparent conversation, you have to do that with your kids.
You have to do that with your husband. Two years of marriage counseling for us tells us that to be true. And so when I share these struggles, if you will, I only share the struggles that I've experienced. And I've seen the outcomes of what happens when you do the hard work and you do the thing. I'm not going to suggest you to do something if I haven't previously done it myself. And so we need to have those tough conversations with our partners or with our kids and say, hey,
Mom is not going to be here for this, but I will be here for this. And I'm going to make sure that Fridays during the summer, I'm not taking client meetings. And yet that does mean that sometimes I am not going to be able to put you to bed on a Tuesday night so that I can be here for a Friday morning. And although the kids are only six and eight right now, it's important to have those conversations because expectations need to be laid out or honestly sadness or happiness. I mean, any of the feelings can be a
byproduct of that if you don't lay out the expectations.
Kerri Roberts (25:03)
So true. If you don't set the expectations, you're likely setting yourself or them up for disappointment. It's so easy. I usually say in the absence of information, like our brains fill it in. They're just naturally gonna fill it in. And so in this broken world, a lot of times we fill it in with negativity. I mean, just unfortunately. so, yeah, like six and eight, they're gonna be incredible human beings because they're mother. Let them behind the curtain a little bit. Yes, they will.
Denise Tallcott (25:10)
Mmm.
Hey, thanks, let's hope so. ⁓
Sydney did a pageant for the first time. Well, like a real one for the first time over the weekend and I not prompting her right because I don't. I think sometimes Carrie like with your mom we kind of just expect and I never wanted that for her to expect it and I. She was always the one that brought it up so she did it and it's I love to think about how can we place not only ourselves but our kids in controlled environments that push us out of our comfort zone because.
Controlled environments, let's say, you know, she spoke in front of 150 people. We knew 100 of them. 100 of those people are going to be cheering on, right? So you think about that percentage. You're going to have more positive reinforcement than negative at a young age. How can we then see, okay, I did these three things really well, and this one I have an area of an opportunity. When we look at things about how can I put myself in controlled chaos, if you will,
to then see how I succeed, you then are able to write a story differently than maybe the one that others would write for you.
Kerri Roberts (26:35)
Yeah, that's great feedback. So whether you're doing it yourself or you're coaching someone else, preparing to speak or record or anything like that, what are the practices or mindset shifts that you lean on personally to stay grounded and to stay energized?
Denise Tallcott (26:51)
⁓ I think it's that self-talk. It's that narrative. And I used to be the person that would look in the mirror and say, ⁓ I'm so fat. This makes me look fat. And I would believe it. That comes from, you know, my mom knew no, she, she was beautiful. She still is. And when she would look in the mirror, she's like, I don't like the way this looks on me. We don't necessarily realize what other people are picking up. And then that narrative that we are then telling ourselves. So
Once I had a daughter, I was like, I'm going to stop talking poorly to myself in that way. It's a choice. So when you choose to talk to yourself differently, your life changes. So for me, one, first of all, whenever I do these types of things, I pray, I say, God, please give me the gifts and please give me the words either way that you want these people to hear. When I think of the, in the coaching realm, I go more so of please,
help me ask the questions that help them get to the answer that they want to. So I do think it's realizing that it's not about me, it's all about him and giving that credit first and foremost. While then also realizing like I have control over what I am telling myself and so something that is often in our household for myself and our family is you know I can do hard things. I can do things scared because if we don't label things as yeah that is scary.
and I can do it, we might stop. So those are some things I love to keep in mind as to what I tell myself. ⁓ If I, because of the radio experience, if I can tell that my voice needs a little warmed up, right, if I haven't been talking, if I've been in a car driving to a speaking engagement, I love to sing Backstreet Boys. They are in my vocal tonality that totally gets my wind going. And so,
Kerri Roberts (28:40)
You
Denise Tallcott (28:45)
I'll do that if I need to, obviously not in the place, but I think about how can I best serve them? And then I always go into the crowd for specifically like if I'm going out and thinking about how can I speak, I try to speak at least three people anytime I go and do a speaking engagement to get three things that I am going to then deliver in my speech while by calling them out. And the reason being is because I love to make things so personalized in a world of AI and where
starting to question whether or not this is authentic. How can I make someone feel so good about themselves that they were worth being brought up in a speech and thought of after meeting them an hour prior? Those types of things are key.
Kerri Roberts (29:29)
It's so beautiful too, because if we're really looking at people as God's precious creation, every single person is worth that level of effort. And ⁓ I had somebody say one time, it was really impactful to me, if you've got an overwhelmed schedule, then God can't underwhelm our soul. You know what I mean? He can't impact our soul in that way. And the example that this guy gave was,
Denise Tallcott (29:51)
Hmm.
Kerri Roberts (29:56)
If you are so back to back with meetings or calls or whatever it is that you are pulling in and out of your local Hy-Vee and you don't notice the elderly woman who can't find her car, you're missing it. Like you're missing the whole point of being here and being with one another and being in community. And that convicted me so hard because there was a season in my life when I was a corporate executive to where I...
Denise Tallcott (30:07)
Mm.
Kerri Roberts (30:19)
I was so minute to minute that I wouldn't have had the time or capacity. I would have had to miss the next meeting, be late or whatever. I'm super rigid, so I would dare be late to something. You know what I mean? And taking the time to personalize it. I love hearing you say that because every single person like loves that. That's so meaningful. And it makes you pause and think like, mattered to that individual. And that's the whole point. That's literally the whole point on this earth.
Denise Tallcott (30:48)
Yeah, there's a shirt that my husband has and it I was so when he sent me the Amazon link he was like, Denise is it OK if I buy this? First of all, you don't have to ask my permission, but second of all, so love that you did. It was and I almost think that he was asking permissions to like give himself permission because it was kind of different for him. It said on the back you matter and then it gives seven or eight reasons as to why the person behind him matters.
I was floored and so we got that shirt and he wears it and it says on the front to the person behind me and then it says you matter and then it has seven or eight reasons as to why that person matters and whenever he wears that shirt my son I can only imagine he'll pick something out of that and we don't know what our subliminal messages are from time to time and yet wearing a simple t-shirt I like to think about what are you putting on
Some might think the Holy Spirit. What's your Holy Spirit that you're putting on to help others know and feel that they matter without you even having to say it?
Kerri Roberts (31:57)
love that. So this show is called Don't Waste the Chaos. I love how you've worked it. You're just, you're so good, Denise. You're so good. You've worked it in a couple of times. What's one piece of chaos in your story that we haven't heard so far that in hindsight you are now grateful for?
Denise Tallcott (31:58)
Mm.
So I have given the gift to myself in realizing there is always going to be chaos. Always. Because if we try to strive for a life that does not have chaos, we're going to be striving for something different. Because chaos can happen even in contentment, right? Our thoughts can be chaos. It is such a big word.
that I love that you put like, don't waste it because there's always chaos. And so why not let's look at chaos as something beautiful rather as something to get it away. So when I think about chaos, reflecting back, kids are the best mirror for you, right? And we think as a whole, so many of us are so busy. We live in such a busy life. That's actually why I hate the word busy. Life is full. Life is full because we choose what to fill it. Life is not busy.
Life was previously in my own mind based off the story that I was telling myself. It was busy and I thought it was busy. my goodness. I had to run the kids to the doctor and then we had to be home to fix dinner and then we had to got blah blah. Do you hear how it's all had to right now? I think in a mindset of I get to do these things. I get to run the kids to practice. I get to make dinner. I get to take out the trash. That's a stretch, but I get to do all of these things and when we view.
life has if you will, chaos. And we label chaos as beautiful. Chaos is running three businesses and getting to still take Fridays with the kids during the summer. Chaos previously would be me having been a sales rep at a radio station and then making it back for my on air shift so that people didn't think that I wasn't present in the studio. Shocker.
everything was recorded in the radio station anyway. Nobody was there hanging out for six hours. But the perception, I had to give off that perception. Chaos previously for me, honestly, was people pleasing. That was chaos. And it makes me sad to think that that was my norm. And yet I give myself grace in knowing I didn't know any better. So chaos today is now defined for me as it's so full of love.
Chaos is love because we have so many things that we get to do, so many people that we get to spend time with, that I label chaos differently. And chaos can really be beautiful.
Kerri Roberts (34:44)
Yeah, absolutely. So let's jump into, I love closing out my episodes with like a lightning round so we can get to know our guests a little bit better. So tell me what's one thing that your kids say that cracks you up?
Denise Tallcott (34:51)
Yes.
So we're in fun stages right now. The kids would have already corrected me. Sydney is 8 and Hudson is 6 1 half because words matter. And so Sydney listens so very well. The first child, right? She'll often times if she's in a fight with Hudson, it literally happened yesterday because they did not sleep well. Hudson, can you help me understand why you're being mean? It's like what a good coach question because that's often what I ask like.
Can you help me understand how you feel about that? Or can you help me understand how you got to that? It's, can you help me understand how you're being mean? And total, total girl. Now Hudson, on the other hand, we have a boy with this one and he has a lot, has had a lot of facial injuries. We have had two adult chipped teeth that are now fillings. We have stitches because he was able to stick his tongue through his chin because he fell down.
I mean, has injuries. Literally yesterday, Carrie, he came to me with a sliced finger that I was gonna have to go get glued at the ER. I mean, he is boy after boy. And I'll never forget, we had a conversation after the breaking of the teeth because I was like, these things, you can't fix bone. You can't make grown bow back, grow back. And so we really worked on, okay, we gotta get our hands down before you fall. Like get your hands down and protect your face. And so one of my favorite things was he jumped off
the swing set and it, he hurt his knee, but as he's limping away, he looks at me and he goes, but mom, I got my hands down. I got my hands down. And so we love to say Hudson, are your hands down? So those are.
Kerri Roberts (36:33)
You know, the
chip tooth thing is a heartbreaker. actually that, ⁓ cause Keegan, my 13 year old's missing like half of his front tooth and same deal. Didn't have his hands down backwards in a metal chair, you know, face to the chair, broke it off. And when they called me, ⁓ he was at a summer camp probably five years ago and it was an adult tooth. Gosh dang it. And I, he gets in the car, I go to pick him up and I'm taking him to
my buddy who's a dentist and I said, dude, we can't fix this super well. We're going to fix it, but this is just going to be like this. And why in the world I was born in 1982, so this is going to show my age a little bit, but why in the world I then said to my son, you know what? You're never going to be able to go into a club or a party with a black light and people not know that that's a fake tooth. And he was like, why? I was like, cause it's going to look gray.
it's gonna look gray and you're gonna be able to tell. like, I get to the dentist office and my dentist is similar age to me and I was like, this is the wisdom that I had to share with my son when he goes to a club or a blacklight party. And he was like, wow, Carrie really dug deep on that one. I was like, I don't, I didn't know. I wasn't ready. I wasn't.
Denise Tallcott (37:48)
Your 18 year old
self was like, I'm ready to party, but we can't with this tooth. What are we doing?
Kerri Roberts (37:52)
No,
you gotta keep your mouth. I had a girlfriend that when we went, I had known her my whole life, go to college and we're at a party or whatever. And I was just like, ⁓ you have fake teeth. She was like, my gosh, cause you know, in high school we hadn't been exposed to blacklight parties or whatever. So yeah, she was like, no, what's it look like? I was like, don't look in the mirror. Honestly, it's bad. Yes.
Denise Tallcott (38:09)
Say it.
Let me protect you. Let me protect
you. The kids have a black light light at home. I'm totally going to go look at that now because I never thought of it. Now you know what our night plans are.
Kerri Roberts (38:20)
Yeah. Yeah, well, it's it's dead.
Unfortunately, it's like just it's just a black blob. OK, what's your I don't have time, but I'm doing it anyway. Guilty pleasure.
Denise Tallcott (38:31)
⁓ I was never a nails person because I grew up on a farm. I am rough with my hands. You do hard work. And one time I read somewhere where you gain a level of credibility on stage if your nails are done. Well, I could never get gel nail done because they would chip all of the time. I found this girl, her name is Allie and she's amazing. And I get my nails done every four weeks and they do not chip. I mean, they are fabulous. And they
last the entire four weeks. And so that is my thing and or chemical peels. ⁓ a, let's get some real good stuff done that I can, I think I'm doing microdermabrasion. We've talked about this for the first time next week and I'm so jazzed. Like I can't wait for these needles on my face. I have one tattoo and I was scared and now I'm like, do it all over. so those probably.
Kerri Roberts (39:06)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm. ⁓
yeah. I'm here with you on both of those. You know, I live on a farm now, but I've always, probably for the last, I guess when I hit a director title, and I don't know why I had this dumb gauge for myself, but part of it was same deal, grew up on a farm. I never in high school, even for prom, I didn't get my nails done. I remember when I went to Miss Missouri, we stopped at Walmart and it got some press on nails and I...
was doing them the night before I was getting on stage and I was like, I have no idea what I'm doing. I've never done this before. But I love getting my nails done. And I'm impressed at four weeks. Like I do three weeks and I feel like, know, ⁓ they start driving me nuts. But I love getting my nails done. Not the actual sit and do nothing part of it. That part really gets on my nerves. But just having them done, it definitely is kind of the equivalent of mascara or whatever. You know, like you feel polished, literally.
Denise Tallcott (40:01)
Yeah.
music
Kerri Roberts (40:17)
Yes. Okay, what's a simple ritual that helps you reset on a really hard day?
Denise Tallcott (40:23)
I really live with that gratitude mindset. And if I find myself getting anxious, being an entrepreneur, as you know, if we let those negative thoughts creep in, it could be ultimately like, where's my next client coming from? I think I've definitely done a lot of work for that thought to not enter my mind anymore. And yet there's still moments of anxiety, if you will. And I...
read somewhere in my training that you can, your brain, your brain is so smart, but yet it is so dumb at the same time. Your brain cannot be anxious and gracious at the same time. And so in moments of anxiety, if it starts to creep in, I get out my pen and I get thank you notes and I write a thank you note to a client or to a friend or to someone who has been put on my heart that I want to write a sweet note to. And I'm totally fine at the end of it.
being intentional with what you do with that, that is key. And so many people have the power to do it. It's just deciding what to do with it.
Kerri Roberts (41:30)
Yeah, that's a good one. And I think a lot of people think like, I don't have time for gratitude practice or whatever it is, but it can be that simple. Just writing a thank you note, thank you email.
Denise Tallcott (41:38)
Yeah, it doesn't
have to be about me. I did that for a while. I thought, I'm like, oh, this is great. I'm going to write down what I'm grateful for. And then by day five, I was like, I am annoyed by this. I am not doing this anymore. And it was because I was already finding moments of gratitude for myself throughout the day. I wasn't just writing them down. And there is power in that. But for me, I wanted to let others know how grateful I was for them.
Kerri Roberts (42:02)
What's something that you believed about success five years ago that you don't believe anymore now?
Denise Tallcott (42:08)
I loved this question. It is not about the number of people who know my name, but rather labeling success now is how many people I'm able to now name by name. People will never forget how you make them feel, and every person is worth remembering their name for. And it's not about whether they remember Denise Topkit, it's about whether or not
They are remembered by me and I'm making a point to remember because they are all worth it. And so for me, success is at the end of the day, being able to say, ⁓ I met this great person today or I got this fabulous email or this person made a really nice comment. I remember their name. And even if it's just for a moment, I want them and everyone to know that your name is thought of. And that's how I define success.
Kerri Roberts (43:03)
That's so powerful. What a breath of fresh air you have been today. Tell us, I know people are gonna wanna connect with you. Tell us how they can find you.
Denise Tallcott (43:12)
Thank you, you're so kind. The podcast is called Working Moms Redefined. So you can Google that, you can listen on Spotify, podcast, Amazon, all those great channels, YouTube. So the podcast is Working Moms Redefined. We have a masterclass, if you will, within there. It's talking about nine minutes of connections, how you can focus on nine minutes a day, and that will actually help you connect with your kids better and feel like you're an even better mother.
came from the very beginning of our conversation, right? Where in order for you to feel better at work, you need to feel better at home. So let's fix or improve the at home piece. So that's that part of the business. For speaking and all sorts of inquiries like that, coaching, all sorts of goodies, that's Denise Talk It leadership. And you can Google it. It's spelled multiple ways, but Talk It is T-A-L-L-C-O-T-T. So it's Denise Talk It leadership. And of course, Kerry was kind enough to mention that she'll mention and share these in the show notes, but
I appreciate you giving me this opportunity, but I'm also gonna do a shameless plug for you, Carrie, because you did an absolutely phenomenal job on the Working Moms Redefined podcast episode that Carrie was featured on. She brought it, and that podcast went a little bit longer because I didn't wanna make her stop. And so yes, this is her platform as well, but you should listen, listeners. You should definitely listen to Carrie's story a little bit more in depth and how she shared some deep thoughts. ⁓ that was so cool as well.
Kerri Roberts (44:38)
Well, we will try to link that episode in the show notes as well. Folks, yes, we will do that. So folks, we know that finding your voice can be hard, holding space for others while still chasing your own dreams can be hard and balancing it all as a woman of purpose. That can feel like chaos, but the work is worth it. So don't waste the chaos, embrace it. Until next time.
